Dating at 12 Versus Dating at 19

Original Author: Sarah Ng

Times have changed; the younger generation are now getting attached at a really young age! It can be really surprising to see that kids as young as 10 years old can be “attached”. For most of us, we find that pretty amusing and really cute. Having said that, of course, we take away the physical intimacy.

As for me, I kind of started dating since 12. Well, at least to me it was dating and it felt pretty dreamy. But as I grow up, the perception of “dating” and being attached changes. Dating doesn’t seem like a bed of roses anymore.

bed-of-rosesDating at 12

At 12 years old, when you find out that someone actually likes you and have feelings for you, it feels like you have been transported to your dreamland where everything is so magical.

editedkim26Those butterflies in your tummy when you talk to your crush and that sudden blood rush through your body when you are approaching your crush. When you know that someone is actually “chasing” you, putting extra effort to get your attention, making you feel like a princess – that seems really cute and it feels so good to be alive. It makes you feel that you’re actually being noticed and loved by someone who’s not blood related to you.

And when you decide to go out on a date together, for a movie and a meal, everything seems almost perfect. Nothing really matters as long as we have one another. We believe that we will live happily ever after because we ‘know’ that nothing can separate us.

Dating at 19

You’re at your peak of your teen years. You realise that nothing is smooth sailing in life – even in relationships. You’ve gone through bad times and came out stronger in whatever obstacles that you had faced. Good job on that! But a relationship at this age gets a little more complex, a little deeper.

wedding5You think twice about the person chasing you or if you are chasing someone. You think about if;
1) Can both of us relate well?
2) Can our relationship last long-term?
3) Will it affect your studies?
4) Will your family/friends approve of him/her?
5) Do you have enough time on your hands to commit to a relationship?

and the list can go on

Dating at 19 for me, it is complicated and much more to consider.


  • I want my relationship to last till marriage.
  • I want my parents to be happy with my boyfriend that I’m dating (family support in your relationship goes a long way, especially when you want it to be a marriage-ship).
  • I want to be able to actually relate well with him in all areas of my life (Studies, Spiritually, Mentally) so that I know I can always have someone to support me in the different areas of my life, to make me a better person than I already am.
  • I want to make sure that I can commit to a relationship, together with my academics, family, friends, church etc well.

Suddenly it seems like dating isn’t a bed of roses anymore. Many problems may arise as you grow older in a relationship and there are a lot more things to consider before getting attached. But at the end of the day, if your love for each other is strong, I believe nothing can separate true love.

Word of advice

Be wise in the kind of person you want to date. After all, you’re going to spend a lot of time, emotion and effort in this relationship.

dating-at-19 Sarah Ng also blogs at


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